Author Archives: Lars Martinson

Whenever I see a Japanese metrosexual being licked by a gigantic cartoon tongue, I immediately want to buy some gum.

You’ve done it again, Japanese ad executives.

This escalator is AWESOME. It’s got your back.

Pictured above is a sign I saw hanging outside of a restaurant in downtown Tokushima. There are three things I find amusing about it:

1) Even though it’s written in pretty good English (no spelling mistakes, word order is okay, etc.) I’m still not exactly sure what they’re trying to say. Because it sounds like a paradox: the only way to get food “to go” is if you’re eating at the restaurant. Or maybe they’re trying to say that you can only get take out food as a doggie bag, after you’ve eaten some of it in the restaurant? I dunno…

2) Either way, I don’t get the need for the policy in the first place. They apparently have the means to accommodate “to go” orders, so why even bother making the sit down customer stipulation? They want people’s money, people want their food, so who cares where they eat it? Actually, it seems to me that a take out customer would be preferable to a sit down customer, since the former isn’t taking up a seat in your restaurant that could go to someone else.

3) And finally, I find it amusing (and unlikely) that an English language sign like this is even necessary in the first place. Tokushima isn’t Tokyo or Osaka; even downtown, I hardly ever see any other foreigners. This is the only time I can think of that I’ve seen an English sign for the benefit of non-Japanese readers (outside of airports and train stations). Were there really that many foreigners demanding take out food from this one restaurant that they needed this sign? I wonder if they just had one crazy Australian asshole that made a big ruckus about not being able to get food to go, and they thought, “Never again! We need a sign!”

Pictured: Todai Ramen, in the closed position

There’s a ramen shop near my school called Todai Ramen. Their hours of operation baffle me. They are open from 7pm to 4am (except for Mondays, when they’re closed).

Sometimes I’ll leave school at 6:30pm and want to grab some ramen on my way home, but I can’t because they aren’t open yet. Couldn’t they be open from 6pm to 3am instead? You could argue that 6pm to 7pm isn’t a prime dinner hour, but are there really more people that want ramen at 3:30am? Like, on a Wednesday?

I guess I could understand if the nightlife in the area was thriving, but it’s pretty dead. The only other businesses nearby that are open past 9pm are a convenience store and a karaoke joint, both of which already sell food. There’s also a university dorm nearby, but they have a 10pm curfew, so no late night business from them.

This area has even less going on at night.

They’ve been around for years, so I guess Todai’s proprietors know what they’re doing. But still… I don’t get it.

I’ve been living in Japan for almost a year now, but luckily I have a fail proof method to keep homesickness at bay. Whenever I’m feeling nostalgic for the good ol’ U.S. of A., all I have to do is gaze at a can of American Coffee and it’s like I’m home again:

It’s amazing that Japanese beverage manufacturer Dydo was able to capture the spirit of America in one simple image. The America portrayed on a can of American Coffee is the real America.*

I get a little teary-eyed just looking at it. Oh, say can you see… (*Sniff, sniff*)…

*The “real America” being of course the America of 1970s sexploitation movies.